I matched with my bf’s dad on tinder

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+6663 – A little over a year ago I matched with an older guy on tinder and we talked for a while. We did a lot of sexual stuff over snapchat but we never actually met in person, he was married and didn’t want his wife to know. I know it was dumb of me to be talking to a married guy like this but I was stupid and horny. It was fun for a while but I felt bad about it all and knew it couldn’t go any further so after a couple months I ghosted him.

About 9 months ago I met a guy, he’s sweet, kind, handsome, just generally awesome. He’s the first guy I’ve ever felt like I could have a serious relationship with and I genuinely think he might be the guy I end up marrying one day, at least I hoped so until I found out how bad I fucked up. We we’re talking about when I was going to meet his parents since he had just met mine, and we planned on me going with him to a 4th of July party they usually have. He brings up a couple photos of the one from last year and I see the older guy I had been talking to, I ask who that was and he tells me its his dad. Internally I started freaking out, I faked being sick later that night and rushed home to have a full on panic attack about how I had completely fucked things up.

I ended up reaching out to his dad again and explaining what I had discovered and begged him to never tell my bf any of it. He agreed but also said he had missed me, that we should start talking again, and he was looking forward to finally seeing me in person. Now its all stressing me out even more because I don’t know how to deal with what he said on top of everything else and I’m worried he’s going to blackmail me or something.

2022-06-23 13:00:46

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  1. After that response from his Dad you absolutely need to tell him before you go. Dude is a creep and is going to lord this over you.

    Who knows how your guy will react but holy shit that you let him know you are dating his son and his response is that he misses you and wants to start talking again is gross. Dude seems like a real POS.

  2. Come clean to the bf. I’d go so far as to let him see what his father said. Especially what his father said. A father willing to talk again with his sons gf needs to be exposed. That’s some shit.

  3. He **WILL** find out sooner or later no matter what you think. Obviously better coming from you than his dad

    Don’t wait til you have more to lose

  4. Here’s some stuff to think on:

    1. You want to (possibly) marry this guy, right? Do you really think this is something you should, or even can, hide from your spouse for the rest of your life? The one person you’re supposed to have 100% open and complete honesty with? What happens if his dad keeps it a secret but doesn’t stop? What happens if you have kids with this guy one day? You’re comfortable with this past, secret history with your kid’s grandpa?

    2. You have to tell your bf, but also realize that you’re about to reveal to him that his dad has been cheating on his mom, breaking up the family, and one of those women who did that was… you. To you, these are just random people. But this is your bf’s FAMILY. He is gonna be heartbroken. He is gonna feel a lot. He’s entitled to. And you, as both the home-wrecker and the loving gf, need to completely understand, accept, and support his reaction. If he understands the confusion for you, which he might, and is just upset with his dad? We all ghost the dad. If he breaks up with you? You have to accept it, end of conversation.

    But to not tell anyone is not only weird, even more dishonest, and even more disrespectful… it’s screwing over any marriage or family you might have with this guy before it even starts. You won’t have true honesty between you, and eventually you’re gonna feel how tight the trap you created around yourself is. And, by not saying anything, you’re just manipulating the situation for your benefit…

    I really do hope this goes alright. I don’t think you’re a bad person, OP, I just think that you could very easily make this a worse situation and I don’t want you to get entangled in a trap that’s even harder, scarier, or possibly dangerous to get out of.

  5. Confess to your boyfriend he deserves to know the truth not because you are worried about his dad telling him but because you shouldn’t hide secrets from him.

  6. This is a dead sailor. By that I mean the ship is sinking and you can’t really do anything to change that fact.

  7. If you confess to your boyfriend now, you’ll have the upper hand and not his father. It’s something that happened before you met him and it didn’t get physical, so there is a good chance he’ll forgive you.
    But if you lie and pretend everything is alright, his father will toy with you like a puppet. He’ll pull the strings and you will dance. Make no mistake, a man who doesn’t care about his wife and son and cheats, doesn’t give damn about you. He will sell you out before you could blink, and who knows what lies he’ll tell and how he’ll present the case.

  8. You’re scared he’s gonna blackmail you?

    Fam… YOU are the blackmailer.

    Dude was sexting younger women he met on dating apps while he was married, you’ve got him by the balls, it’s over GG.

    Your relationship is probably over at this point, but don’t think you’re the vulnerable one in this situation.

  9. It’ll suck, but do you and the new bf a favor. Break it off. The dad misses you and can’t wait to see you? That’s a red flag. Big red flag. Will cause you nothing but serious issues, and possibly a completely destroyed relationship.

    Do both of you a favor.

  10. I’ll probably get downvoted to the depths of hell for this but your bf should be wary of both his father’s behavior and his gf agreeing to indulge in sexual stuff with a married man. What his father and you did is mad disrespectful to his mother.

  11. I mean, you don’t need to go into any details, because doing that about any ex isn’t great emotionally for either party.

    Buuuut, I’d probably bring it up to BF and be like so this is kind of awkward, but when I saw those pictures I realized I had matched with your dad last year. We just messaged back and forth and I ended it because of the age gap and him being married bothered me. Idk if your dad just goes on there to boost his ego and chat with women or if he actually meets women. It’s none of my business what your parents relationship is like or what’s permissible, so I’m not judging but just thought you should know I sort of know your dad and that’s how.

    Honestly, his dad being a creeper doesn’t have anything to do with you and BF probably is already well aware. If anything he’ll probably roll his eyes about his dad still being a creepy asshole and be more protective of you. Or maybe not. But if the situation gave you an anxiety attack best to clear things up on your own terms ASAP. Also, don’t message the dad anymore. That looks shady.

  12. I’ve seen less red flags in communist propaganda than in this story. His answer already tell you everything you need to know. He will try something. You better tell your boyfriend. No joke, be straight with him. You were single so it was ok. It’s the best course of action here. If you just break up with him and ghost him he will feel bad and will never know what he did wrong. And if after you tell him he decides to break up with you at least you were honest with him and yourself.

    Avoid any future problems in one swing. His dad might even try to blackmail you. Don’t fall for that.

  13. You have to tell him, and when you do, if he is thinking of letting it slide because he likes you, and can handle it, once he realises you knew his dad was married it will be over and that’s what he should choose in my opinion.

    I would never date someone I learned was helping a married man cheat on his wife. The fact you would engage in all this online cyber sex with a man you know is married, shows your character and the kind of character you will bring to your relationship with your boyfriend, and that is a lack of integrity.

    Me, maybe I could get over the fact my girl was chatting with my dad on Tinder, if I liked her a lot, but not if my dad was still married to my mom, because I would look at that little hussy as being someone who screwed over my mother! So no, you don’t deserve him, since you would do that to another woman that happens to his mother.

    You didn’t just screw over another woman, you screwed over his mother. So he needs to be dumping you. You aren’t making the kinda decisions a person makes that any nice good person with any self respect would want to date. You need to start from scratch on finding another mate and from now on, don’t do something so immoral.

    However I am suspect that this post is even real, I read this exact post word for word practically on reddit some time ago, girl matches with bf’s dad on tinder, finds out pre-family gathering. Next time try harder for an original fake story for your karma heauxing.

  14. Walk away.

    You don’t respect relationships.

    You and the father would be deserving of all the consequences that come from your boyfriend and his mother finding out. The dad deserves to lose his wife because he clearly is a serial cheater. He deserves to lose the respect of his son.

    You messed with a man in a relationship because you were horny. You are accountable for those actions even if you convince yourself that it wasn’t YOUR relationship.

    Don’t drag your “boyfriend” down when somewhere down the line being horny is going to be your excuse for wrecking a home, yours or otherwise.

    Everything done in secrecy WILL come out. Trust me. At the very least walk away so it is somewhat less damaging to your boyfriend. You could hang on to some respect by leaving now that you know.

  15. PLEASE TELL UR BF. honestly it’s the best thing to do. if it’s meant to be, he’ll understand that it happened before you met and there’s nothing you can do about it! he could’ve just as easily done the same thing with one of your relatives I suppose. If he breaks up with you over that then truly he’s not the one, and it’ll perhaps even save you a from broken marriage; go find ur true love!!! i hope it’s him and you get to skip the broken heart ❤️ if it’s not, you’re better off xx

  16. Personally, if I were you I’d just end things and find someone else. You will find a connection again with someone who’s father you don’t have a history with.

    BUT, tbh I also don’t think his father will ever say anything to him. He has a lot more to loose if this comes out than you do. His marriage and his relationship with his son could be destroyed. If anything, you’re the one who could blackmail him… not that you should.

    Regardless, if you choose to stay with the boyfriend and find out, you will likely be harassed by his dad all the time.

  17. i would tell your bf NOW. before his dad can dispute it or spin the story especially after he proceeded to continue being creepy. don’t give him a chance to blackmail you

  18. End it. You cant have a serious relationship with a guy that’s you sent nudes to his dad. You’re only entertaining it more if you keep going and ultimately makes you a bad person. Move on.

  19. OP, longterm lies never work out and even if it feels like you could deal with it, the stress of that lie will eat at you until it becomes unbearable

  20. Is it really a true story ? Cause it feels like a movie plot where the character “for some reason” sees the right path but stupidly chooses the wrong path.

    It is so fucking obvious. You tell your bf about your relationship with his dad … if he has problems with that, just end it , if he is ok, then just keep going.

    Your bf will fucking hate you when he knows about this in different circumstances

    Don’t ever dare to miss up his life and feelings because “you thought his dad will keep the secret”

  21. Tell your boyfriend. You absolutely have to come clean to have a chance of staying with him. His dad thinks he can blackmail you into continuing in person.